A Devastated Mess – Reunite with Your Ex at Your Best

Published: 16th July 2009
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Breaking up hurts like hell and everyone knows it. Even if you haven't had a painful break up yet, chances are you have seen what other people go through, how they cope, or rather how they don't cope. If you are one of those people who aren't coping, I strongly suggest you start, especially if you are thinking to reunite with your ex. You will have a way better chance if you are at your best. No one is going to fall for you if you are a devastated mess!



Remember This



Your ex is not going to be your last. Throughout many years you will have more. Some you will be happy to get rid of. Some will make your teeth curl at the idea you were ever with them, and some you simply won't remember at all. What you will always have throughout this life no matter where you go or who you are with - is you. Yourself, your career, your passions, your character and your personality.



Losing yourself over a partner is going to cost you dearly now and later on. You might end up so down in the dumps that the good things in your life pass you by because you can't get over your ex. Is your ex really worth losing the good things that come your way, or the opportunities you could pass up? Even if you say yes to this question, don't worry, once you get yourself sorted there is an excellent chance to reunite with your ex if that is what you still choose to do.



Remove Their Stuff



Whatever things your ex has left at your house either get rid of them or put them away where you can't see it. Any reminders that can make you tear up need to be removed. Screensavers, photos, cell phone rings, knick knacks, collectibles from outings, etc



Do not call, text message or email your ex. Don't send messages through your friends either. Do not have any contact at all. This puts your ex in the position to wonder what you're up to that you are so easily away with contacting them and will give them a good chance to miss you.



Pretend



When you start the day pretend to yourself that all is well and you are feeling happy and ready to face the day head on. Force yourself to smile when you are getting dressed. Don't call in sick to work. Wallowing around the house will make you feel worse and is the start of a behavior that can lead you down a very bumpy road.



If you have plans made for an outing - go. If you don't then make plans with friends, or do something that is meaningful and important to you. Get back in touch with your passions and hobbies. Contact old friends.



Do not talk about your ex at all. Use your imagination and pretend he does not exist.



Ask for Help



You will need some help throughout this process and this is the time to call on friends and family for support and to help keep you busy. But take care not to overwhelm them with constant talk, tears, and sorrows over your ex. As much as they may care for you, your constant depressing state and constant talk about your ex gets a bit old after a while and will cause them to stop helping you, especially if you are not taking anyone's advice and just wallowing in your depression. At the end of the day, they can only do but so much for you - you have to help yourself as well.



If you feel you are battling depression to a point that it has begun to control your life, then you need to seek professional help immediately. Depression is extremely common; it doesn't take a break up or a death for a person to be depressed. It can control of your life and it can take your life away. Most of the time, it requires professional attention in order to get in under control. http://helpguide.org/mental/depression_signs_types_diagnosis_treatment.htm



Enhance Yourself



Look for ways to improve yourself, and the tools you need to succeed. Find something you have wanted to do or have always had an interest in and throw yourself into it. Use your negative energy in a positive way and for a positive outcome.



Help out friends and family that might need you. It doesn't have to be with something major, just help out in whatever small ways you can, like helping out with the kids, running errands, helping in the kitchen, with school work or a hobby.



When a person improves themselves and reaches out to help others it's a gift to both parties. One party is doing a good deed and helping to make someone's day a little easier by giving their time and energy. This has a positive enhancement to your personality and the way you feel about yourself. It also keeps you busy and focused on someone other than yourself, your problems, and your ex.



These four areas of self preservation in times of pain and sorrow will help you, but you have to put them into action and keep them in action until you begin to start feeling like your old self again. It won't take as long as you think if you work at it every day and spend time with people and not alone. Once you are back to your old self you can seek out how to reunite with your ex, because now you are out of the devastated mess, ready to move forward as yourself, and for yourself.





Triniti is a relationship adviser who helps couples fix the broken in their relationship and move on to become first-rate partners for each other. She extends an invitation for you to receive Breaking Up Advice on the house to help with moving forward, putting a smile on your face, and a beat back in your heart. http://makingupafterbreakingup.blogspot.com/



Learn how to reunite with your ex or mend any relationship with a solid, clear plan that breaks through barriers and shows how to be a first-rate partner and keep a relationship solid and thriving. Best of all - it's a down to earth approach suitable for all couple types and personalities. Guaranteed and cost effective for today's money conscience couples. http://getanexbackmagic1.blogspot.com/

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